Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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