Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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