well you can't waste a boner
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
