Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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