Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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