You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
