Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
