I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
