good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
