what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
