What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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