WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
