covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
