I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
