do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
