she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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