I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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