Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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