You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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