Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
