listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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