we made out on top of his cat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
bring money and cleavage
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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