i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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