Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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