About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
