We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
