What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
