i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
