I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
