FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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