The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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