Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
