every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
