So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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