it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
