thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
