this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
