Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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