just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
