we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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