so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
