john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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