Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
