K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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