am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
