So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
