So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
