there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
