last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
