so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
