The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
