:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
