"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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