Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
