i permit you to call me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
