this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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