just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
