Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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