Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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