theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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