? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
