C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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