what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he's gonorrhea incarnate
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
