Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
