u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
