? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
