He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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