I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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