You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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